Was God a painter and decorator?

As someone who does most things quickly, I have discovered my speed often overtakes me like a sports car... Holding on to this reputation I pride myself with, I decided to paint the Bathroom and bought the necessary ingredients two weeks ago. I've stared at the carrier bag since then, willing myself to empty it, and get started...but no inspiration came until today, when I happily took all things out of the carrier bag, and laid them on the bathroom floor. But ' first things first' I always say, so went downstairs and made myself a coffee and two Scotch pancakes with delightful cream cheese..

Appetite satisfied, I came back upstairs, laid the plastic cover on the carpet, and hey presto, I'd started... Easy peasy.. Then I hit a snag... The ceiling seemed an awful lot higher than I'd remembered, and the ladders were in the garage, too far away for me to be bothered, so decided to carry on and reach.. I wasn't painting the ceiling, but the bit where the wall and ceiling meet, must at all costs not have 'tide marks'.. so I used a stool, and made a huge stretching effort, and it worked - until I had to lean on the wall to reach up, and put my hands all over the newly painted part...- Not a problem, I just repainted the tell tale finger prints i'd left. Now, I'd got to the other side of the room, and remembered that a bathroom has a bath in it.! " How do I do this God " ? I pleaded.. He answered in the positive.. ' Just step into the bath ' he said in answer.. Of course ! So I did..
I asked him if he'd done much decorating when he was a boy, but he didn't answer. I expect he thought 'the least said here the better.'. Now I had the pot of paint, the lid, a paint brush, a roller, and a cloth, all in beside me.. I couldn't move in case I spilled paint all over the place, and as the bath is lower than the stool, I stared up, and spoke to God again, asking him to please help me reach where the ceiling joined the wall.. it's vital to get this wall done to perfection.. it's the first thing the eye sees as you walk in... My hands were now covered in emulsion paint, and now I wanted to go to the toilet. Should I leave this job until tomorrow, or go and make myself another coffee? No! 'Just do it - like Nike says'. so I gave in to the first urge, and went to the toilet... Every part of me touched the wet paint, and tho' I'd just washed my hands before the 'urge, I scrubbed them again. I hadn't worn gloves for this task.. too fussy, and would waste too much time, and anyway they too were downstairs. ( I do things fast - remember)? So back into the bath I went, and started again.. I have a glass 'shower splash' or some such name, and it, like the mirror, the towel rail, the toilet roll holder, and the glass shelf, are all screwed into the wall. Where were the tools to undo all these screws.? In the garage of course.. ' No time to look for them, Just be careful..' so I began again, now losing impetus, like a car fast running out of petrol . Suddenly I had an idea.. Why not take a rest, and write a blog about how fast you do things, and how God helped you to do it even faster..

what a good idea... So here I am, now sitting in front of the Computer Blogging, instead of finishing the blooming bathroom, and, I must confess, I've taken a minute off to have a cigarette, and close the curtains...What's happened to my 'speedy gonzalez' habit? Thought I'd better check the spelling of that name, and would you believe? I just came across a word 'greegree'.! Never heard it before, so in case you haven't either, I'll tell you what it means... It's an African charm or fetish.. 17th century of native origin.! Now we've all learned something new today haven't we? .! and do you know something else I've learned today? That since the year has changed from 2006 to 2007, so too have I changed. I've become a procrastinator.! ' Crastinare.f. Crastinus f. of tomorrow..'. Since I refuse to give in to this state,I will now sign off Blogging, and finish my bathroom from the unsafe bath, and hope to survive this change in myself, and be delighted with the change in my bathroom too.. I used to do things fast! what's happened.? Could it be Global warming? Not so in hee at the moment... I put the heating off before I started my ' ten minute' painting job, and now the house is so cold, I don't know if I'll be able to hold the paint brush..I only hope my knees don't start shaking with cold, or I might get an unwanted shower ! No... I don''t think God would allow that to happen to me.. He seemed pretty knowledgeable about decorating when I spoke to Him.